1. You would rather stay in instead of going out. And...you feel old being around all those young kids!!!
2. You go to bed earlier. And wake up earlier.
3. You realize that people that are only a couple of years younger than you cannot always relate to you because they don't have the life experiences that you do.
4. You read the paper every day.
5. You watch the weather channel. Even if the weather is not affecting you at the moment.
6. Sitting on the porch is fun!
7. All of your friends are married.
8. You now know why your parents nagged you when you were younger.
9. You don't care if you look horrible, but go shopping anyway.
10. You realize you have to plan for your future...now!
11. You listen to talk radio.
12. You stop getting carded.
13. If you don't need something, you put it back on the shelf instead of buying it.
14. You realize that family is everything.
15. You start to buy anti-aging products, even if you don't really need them yet.
16. The thought of living in a dorm again turns your stomach.
17. You drink coffee because you enjoy it, not because it is the cool thing to do.
18. You inspect your face every day for wrinkles.
19. Your youngest sibling goes off to college.
20. You learn that you have to take care of you.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Back to reality
As I sit here on a Wednesday afternoon drinking my coffee and eating a slice of pumpkin roll, there are lots of thoughts going through my head. Let me begin with the events of last week.
My grandmother, who had been battling Alzheimer's disease for the last 10 years was put into Hospice. My mom, along with her brothers and sisters, were with her every day. They took shifts so that someone would always be there and that she wasn't alone. They took turns doing dinners and keeping each other company through the whole ordeal. After realizing that she was going to pass away quickly, I decided that I needed to see her at least once before she did...even if she didn't know who I was and I knew it'd be hard. So, I left work on Tuesday to see her. My beautiful, graceful grandmother was laying in bed asleep. My uncle Jerry was there, watching tennis of course, and just sitting by her side. I didn't stay long, but decided right then and there that I would try to help and support the family as best I could.
I have a part time job that I was supposed to work at all last week. I knew it would be hard to get out of, but really, what is more important, being with your family or working a part-time job? So, I told my boss that I needed to cut back my hours because of what was going on. The next day, Wednesday, she let me leave 2 hours early. Thankfully, I went right over to Hospice to see my family and grandmother. Each day, we thought that would be it, but to the amazement of everyone around her, she kept holding on. She was a tough woman! Thursday I went to pick my sister Katy up from Kent and went over to Hospice again. This would be the final time I would see my grandmother. My mom stayed there over night along with the aunts and uncles and lots of wine! The nurses joked that "this was the place to be!" I offered to get more wine for them, but they said they were good. We gave our mom a hug, said our goodbyes, and left. All day Friday at work I checked my phone expecting to hear from my mom. Then finally, around 3, my sister Katy texted me to call my mom and I knew that she had passed away.
I of course was not up for my part time job again and was it ever difficult to get out of! Anyway, I didn't have to go in so my WONDERFUL boyfriend Brian came over to see us. He even brought my mom a plant. My mom, Brian, Katy, Eric, and I went out for Mexican. A pitcher of margaritas and very full stomaches later, we were feeling a little better. Sad, but better.
The rest of the weekened we kind of just hung out...I spent half the weekend at my house, half at Brian's, but he was with me the whole time. I even got Lacey in for a haircut. The groomers said she was so good and so cute. Watched the Buckeyes and Browns, went to Zach's pancreatic cancer fundraiser, and relaxed.
Monday night were the calling hours. There were so many people that came to support our family. It was nice to see old family and friends. Grandma looked peaceful, and actually there was almost a sense of relief that she WAS finally at peace and not in pain misery anymore. We knew that she was happy with her Ralph up in heaven.
The funeral was held Tuesday morning. It was cloudy/rainy of course...how fitting? Held at St. Vincent St. Mary, it was a very nice service. Uncle Paul gave a wonderful eulogy. The burial was at Holy Cross Cemetary where we all sang "Amazing Grace." Brian said, "Wow, you guys sound like a choir." We are a very musically talented family! :) After it was over, the sky cleared and the sun came out. We went over to Aunt Dot's house where we all acted like we hadn't eaten in 2 days! Then it was all over and now it is back to the real world.
So, all of this has made me realize many things...
1. Life is precious!! You don't know what's going to happen today, or tomorrow!
2. You should live each day to the fullest.
3. You should not stress about little things. (which I have to get better at!)
4. Family is everything! You should always be there for your family because you would want them to be there for you!
5. Have faith! The one thing that made my grandmother's death a little easier is because she had strong faith and so does our family! We know she is up there with Grandpa smiling down on us.
6. If you are not happy, you should find a way to make yourself happy! Life is too short to always be unhappy!
7. Ignore those people that try to make you feel bad about yourself. We are better than that!
8. Be a good person! Just try to be nice to people around you and maybe they'll be nice to you!
9. Don't abandon your hobbies/beliefs/values! If you like doing something, do it! Don't let other people hold you back becaue they don't enjoy it.
10. Good friends are hard to find! I am blessed that I have some GREAT friends. As I get older, it is more apparent to be who my true friends are. I consider my friends, my family!
So now, it's back to reality. Am I changed? I think so. There are some things I think I need to do, but haven't yet. Hopefully I can find the courage and strength to do what I have to do.
My grandmother, who had been battling Alzheimer's disease for the last 10 years was put into Hospice. My mom, along with her brothers and sisters, were with her every day. They took shifts so that someone would always be there and that she wasn't alone. They took turns doing dinners and keeping each other company through the whole ordeal. After realizing that she was going to pass away quickly, I decided that I needed to see her at least once before she did...even if she didn't know who I was and I knew it'd be hard. So, I left work on Tuesday to see her. My beautiful, graceful grandmother was laying in bed asleep. My uncle Jerry was there, watching tennis of course, and just sitting by her side. I didn't stay long, but decided right then and there that I would try to help and support the family as best I could.
I have a part time job that I was supposed to work at all last week. I knew it would be hard to get out of, but really, what is more important, being with your family or working a part-time job? So, I told my boss that I needed to cut back my hours because of what was going on. The next day, Wednesday, she let me leave 2 hours early. Thankfully, I went right over to Hospice to see my family and grandmother. Each day, we thought that would be it, but to the amazement of everyone around her, she kept holding on. She was a tough woman! Thursday I went to pick my sister Katy up from Kent and went over to Hospice again. This would be the final time I would see my grandmother. My mom stayed there over night along with the aunts and uncles and lots of wine! The nurses joked that "this was the place to be!" I offered to get more wine for them, but they said they were good. We gave our mom a hug, said our goodbyes, and left. All day Friday at work I checked my phone expecting to hear from my mom. Then finally, around 3, my sister Katy texted me to call my mom and I knew that she had passed away.
I of course was not up for my part time job again and was it ever difficult to get out of! Anyway, I didn't have to go in so my WONDERFUL boyfriend Brian came over to see us. He even brought my mom a plant. My mom, Brian, Katy, Eric, and I went out for Mexican. A pitcher of margaritas and very full stomaches later, we were feeling a little better. Sad, but better.
The rest of the weekened we kind of just hung out...I spent half the weekend at my house, half at Brian's, but he was with me the whole time. I even got Lacey in for a haircut. The groomers said she was so good and so cute. Watched the Buckeyes and Browns, went to Zach's pancreatic cancer fundraiser, and relaxed.
Monday night were the calling hours. There were so many people that came to support our family. It was nice to see old family and friends. Grandma looked peaceful, and actually there was almost a sense of relief that she WAS finally at peace and not in pain misery anymore. We knew that she was happy with her Ralph up in heaven.
The funeral was held Tuesday morning. It was cloudy/rainy of course...how fitting? Held at St. Vincent St. Mary, it was a very nice service. Uncle Paul gave a wonderful eulogy. The burial was at Holy Cross Cemetary where we all sang "Amazing Grace." Brian said, "Wow, you guys sound like a choir." We are a very musically talented family! :) After it was over, the sky cleared and the sun came out. We went over to Aunt Dot's house where we all acted like we hadn't eaten in 2 days! Then it was all over and now it is back to the real world.
So, all of this has made me realize many things...
1. Life is precious!! You don't know what's going to happen today, or tomorrow!
2. You should live each day to the fullest.
3. You should not stress about little things. (which I have to get better at!)
4. Family is everything! You should always be there for your family because you would want them to be there for you!
5. Have faith! The one thing that made my grandmother's death a little easier is because she had strong faith and so does our family! We know she is up there with Grandpa smiling down on us.
6. If you are not happy, you should find a way to make yourself happy! Life is too short to always be unhappy!
7. Ignore those people that try to make you feel bad about yourself. We are better than that!
8. Be a good person! Just try to be nice to people around you and maybe they'll be nice to you!
9. Don't abandon your hobbies/beliefs/values! If you like doing something, do it! Don't let other people hold you back becaue they don't enjoy it.
10. Good friends are hard to find! I am blessed that I have some GREAT friends. As I get older, it is more apparent to be who my true friends are. I consider my friends, my family!
So now, it's back to reality. Am I changed? I think so. There are some things I think I need to do, but haven't yet. Hopefully I can find the courage and strength to do what I have to do.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Lacey
Last night around 1:30 am, I heard something in my room. I looked and saw that it was Lacey! I was shocked that she even went up my stairs (my bedroom is in the attic, so she usually doesn't go up there!) But there she was, tail wagging, trying to jump up on my bed! I picked her up and put her at the bottom of my bed. She had a good day yesterday and another good one today. Maybe it was because my room is air conditioned, or maybe it's because she just knows I want her to be around me as much as possible. I love that little mutt!!!
Monday, September 1, 2008
What a weekend...
Last week, my mom had told me that Lacey had another eye infection. She had one last year, so we assumed that this was the same type of thing. So, I started puting cream in her eyes. However, she wanted no part of that and tried to bite me each time I put it in. Well, a few days later, I saw that it wasn't getting any better and that her other eye also looked really bizarre...like she was looking up and couldn't focus. I called my dad right away and he agreed that we had to get her into the vet ASAP. I stay in Twinsburg on weekends, so my dad gave me a call on Saturday morning to tell me what the vet had said. Somehow, I knew that it was not going to be good news, so I didn't answer the phone. In fact, it took me over an hour to get up the courage to call him back. Well, it was bad news. It turns out that Lacey has cataracts and glaucoma in both eyes. The reason she was biting me was because she is in so much pain. They said that her eyes could be removed...but what kind of life is that for a dog to have no eyes? Her hearing is shot as well. She is also very old and probably would not survive the surgery. In addition, she has a weak heart and arthritis. So, basically, she is going to have to be put down when her eyes get so bad and she is in too much pain. I'm hoping that it won't be for a while, but it has already progressed so far in such a short period of time that I'm afraid it will be soon.
It's so sad because she is part of our family! She's been around for half of my life and almost all of Katy's. She isn't just an animal....she's part of the Robinson Clan. I took the news pretty hard, but luckily Brian was there to comfort me...I actually think this was the first time he'd ever really seen me cry. I usually try to play tough around people even though I'm really not. This though, was too much.
In addition, my grandmother is not doing well. She was just moved to Hospice yesterday and they think that she may be close to the end. Because of her Alzheimer's, she has not known who I am in....like 10 years or so? So, it's weird because she's been with us this whole time, but at the same time, hasn't. The last time I saw her was last year when I went to visit her with my mom. She is my grandma, but I am a stranger to her. I don't feel that I ever really got a chance to know her, being part of such a huge family. I remember going shopping with her and my mom and sister occassionally when I was younger. I remember getting tons of gifts from her and my grandpa for Christmas. But, unfortunately, when you are part of such a big family, you sometimes miss out on close relationships that other people from smaller families may have. They expect her to go soon...maybe I'll get to see her before she does.
It's so sad because she is part of our family! She's been around for half of my life and almost all of Katy's. She isn't just an animal....she's part of the Robinson Clan. I took the news pretty hard, but luckily Brian was there to comfort me...I actually think this was the first time he'd ever really seen me cry. I usually try to play tough around people even though I'm really not. This though, was too much.
In addition, my grandmother is not doing well. She was just moved to Hospice yesterday and they think that she may be close to the end. Because of her Alzheimer's, she has not known who I am in....like 10 years or so? So, it's weird because she's been with us this whole time, but at the same time, hasn't. The last time I saw her was last year when I went to visit her with my mom. She is my grandma, but I am a stranger to her. I don't feel that I ever really got a chance to know her, being part of such a huge family. I remember going shopping with her and my mom and sister occassionally when I was younger. I remember getting tons of gifts from her and my grandpa for Christmas. But, unfortunately, when you are part of such a big family, you sometimes miss out on close relationships that other people from smaller families may have. They expect her to go soon...maybe I'll get to see her before she does.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)