The best of both worlds

I used to hate the way I looked. I always thought that I looked kind of, well, weird. Sure, I was a cute baby, chubby with bright red hair. But the cuteness wore off and then I just looked, weird. And then, there was the awkward phase with the perm and braces..yuck. Not only did I think I looked weird, I acted a little weird too. I was convinced that I was adopted for the longest time...I did not have dark hair or dark eyes like most of our family. I was just...me!

Of course, I look back on all of that and laugh. I now like that I look unique. I'm not ashamed of the fact that I'm a worry-wort or get too emotional about stuff. I think it's good that I care about others and try to keep others from keeping the same mistakes I did. I like cooking (especially baking) for others. I take care of others because I like to. I consider a pet part of the family. If someone tries to hurt someone in my family, I will hunt them down. I may not be graceful, but gosh darnit, I will always try. I do not give up easily. I'm a fighter. I'm pretty good at handling my finances. I'm not the most organized person as far as material things, but I am great with remembering when bills are due, upcoming birthdays, etc...I only nag because I care. I love the outdoors...especially biking, hiking, camping, or just sitting outside. I don't really like to shop, I like to get in and get out! I appreciate a good brew, whether a beer or a coffee. I think it is important to carry on traditions. I do not spend money on needless things and usually only buy what is necessary. I'm a country girl at heart. I don't have time for laziness or stupidness. Family is everything. I do not comform to what others do. I'm my own person and if you don't like it...CYA!!!!!

All of these qualities I inherited from my parents. I believe I really did get the best of both of them.

Except for my looks. Those I got from Grandma Wilson. :)

A Broken Wing

My Grandma Robinson passed away about 10 years ago from ovarian cancer. She was a wonderful grandmother, mother, and wife. As children, we used to love to visit Grandma and Grandpa Robinson. Their house was very small, but quite large to us children. There was always a variety of sweet treats for us in the freezer that we were welcome to whenever we wanted. The tv was there waiting for us. We could ride a dirt bike in their gigantic yard! The most delicious blueberries were in their backyard. We always had a great time no matter what we were doing. And the subs...Grandma made the BEST subs..I wish I knew how she did it because I would love to carry on that tradition. When Grandma died, I was in college, but remember it like it was yesterday. It was very hard for all of us, but for my Grandpa in particular.

Grandma was always the one who kept up the house. So, after she was gone, Grandpa became very depressed and did not do anything with the house...for 10 years. He mainly stayed in the kitchen smoking his cigars, and drinking a Genessee or a pot of coffee. The love of his life was gone and I think that he lost his will to live. Recently, Grandpa was moved into a VA home and his house was sold. I could tell that my dad was upset about getting rid of the house, but he had to do what he had to do.

We helped dad clean out the house..there wasn't a lot of value due to the condition of the home. But going through it brought out a lot of memories. I decided that I wanted to take something that would remind me of them. I came across three angels on the window sill and thought that I would take one, and give the other two to Jenny and Katy. It wasn't until later that I discovered that one of the angels had a broken wing. This angel seemed to intrigue me. Why? Well, as silly as it sounds, it made me think of myself....trying to go through this life as best I can even though I am always trying to overcome an obstacle. I perservere every day even though I sometimes feel like everything is working against me. But, I remain strong through it all.

"And with a broken wing
She still sings
She keeps an eye on the sky
With a broken wing
She carries her dreams
Man you ought to see her fly"

-Martina McBride

I am that angel with a broken wing. And one day, you will see me fly. One day.

Our luck has to turn around soon--UPDATES!!

This Blog was actually written awhile ago, but I found it as I was going through old Blogs. Please do not email me or call me to tell me you are worried about me because I can assure you that I am fine. I find that I feel better about things when I write them down..it's almost therapy in a way. That being said, here are some of my thoughts...so enjoy!

I'm not going to sugar-coat this blog. It is what it is and I am what I am. Why am I the way I am? Read on.

I went to school and got my education. I did not get married at 20. I did not have multiple children by multiple fathers. I tried to be responsible. I worked many jobs. I searched for many jobs. I got rejected by many jobs. I had bad relationships. I let it get to me too much. I still let it get to me.

I'm angry that all this time has gone by and I still am not where I want to be in life. I'm angry that I cannot get a break. I'm angry that I get walked all over every day. I'm angry that I can't get what I want...just once. I'm angry that I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I'm angry that I can't live with my boyfriend..yet. I'm angry that I have no money, yet I rarely go shopping for myself. I'm angry that my stress level is so high I am starting to worry about my health. I'm angry that I have no energy. I'm angry that people don't understand.

I want to move out and be on my own! I want that dream house! I want my credit card paid off! I want to get married and have kids! I want a job that I like and that pays well. I deserve this and so much more.

Tell-tale signs you are no longer in your 20's

1. You pull muscles in your back doing every day activities...like tying your shoes!
2. You start to look at people who are not "30 or over" just a little differently.
3. You are paranoid at every little ache and feel the need to make appointments for needless things.
4. You are asked by your doctor, "So...do you plan on having kids in the near future?"
5. You go to bed early each night, yet wish you could go to bed even earlier but don't want to get made fun of.
6. You laugh at all the girls who look like clones of each other and are glad you are out of that phase of your life.
7. You get carded, and instead of getting annoyed, you are excited!
8. You learn to appreciate your family history and want to learn more about it.
9. You have friends that are a decade younger than you. And a decade older.
10. You learn to appreciate your curves (women only!) and aren't jealous of the skinny little girls anymore.
11. Think coffee and converation are the greatest thing ever!
12. You really need to whiten your teeth.
13. You find random gray hairs and it ruins your day.
14. You are not quite sure where to shop for clothing..juniors or old lady?
15. A fun night is making dinner, having a few drinks, and cuddling on the couch with the love of your life. Who needs to go out??

Amy is 30! Ok, I have accepted it!

So, I've been avoiding my blog. I had a little trouble accepting the fact that I had actually turned....30! So, by not writing about it, it was easier to pretend that it wasn't true. Well, it's almost been a month since I hit the big 3-0. And I think that now, I have finally accepted the fact. I AM 30!!!

I actually had an AWESOME birthday. It started off with celebrating with my cousin Andy since we were born three days apart. We had a delicious dinner with our family and even went out afterward! We couldn't believe the day had actually come after talking about it for so long. But, alas, there it was.



The following weekend, my family had a "fiesta" for me! My mom made a ton of food, Katy made a video for me (Aunt Dot style), and we karaoked and drank WAY too much Jose Cuervo. Everyone sang and we all had a great time!!







Finally, the following weekend, Brian threw me a "beach party!" It was fun hanging out with all my friends. And, my little brother even made an appearance! Everyone dressed for the beach and we enjoyed music, food, and beverages!








Celebrating my 30th turned into a month-long celebration. I'm actually a little sad it's come to an end. I guess I get to look forward to my 40th next. Oh joy.