It's Monday night. I'm watching the news..always a depressing thing. I'm drinking a Stewart's Cherries 'n Cream, leftover from Katy's birthday celebration on Friday night. I just boiled some eggs and am about to make an egg salad sandwich...yum! Oh, how I am loving my alone time right now.
Mom had surgery last week and is recovering. (and will be for awhile) She seems to be doing pretty well, so that's good. I've been checking in on her and making sure the house is semi-clean. And it has been, as long as Mike isn't around!
With all that is going on in my life, I have become obsessed with something.... paying my credit card off!! Honestly, it's really the only thing I have to look forward to at this point in my life. I've come to the realization that Brian's house probably won't sell, and if it does, it'll be years from now. So, why should I sit here and wait for something that might not happen for a very long time? Why should I be punished for something that has nothing to do with me? So, after I get my debt under control...which should be in about 6 months if all goes well, then I hope to move out on my own. If Brian's house sells by then, great! But if not, I can't just sit here and wait. I don't think it is fair to me or to him for this to be happening, but there is nothing either one of us can do. So, maybe when his house sells, he can move in with me, instead of me moving in with him years down the road. Brian knows all of this, and he understands. We just wish something would happen so we can finally start our lives together. After all, I am almost 30!! :)
As far as the job thing goes..who knows. I'm honestly at a loss right now about what to do with my life. I'd love to be a stay-at-home mom someday, but I'm realistic and I know that probably won't ever happen. And I know that the teaching thing is out unless I move. So, what else is there? I'm always searching, always looking. I can't afford to go back to school right now. So, I'm busting my butt working 2 jobs and still not making any money. I don't know. It was so much easier when I was in college, I had no worries. I miss those days. Maybe I'll win the lottery! :)
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