Sunday, February 21, 2016
What do I do with my life now??
I feel like this is a never ending battle. I always thought that I would be a teacher. Always. When I was little, I was always "the teacher" when playing with my brothers and sisters. I graduated with a degree in education. I subbed. I worked in daycare. I tutored. I did just about everything in hopes to get in to a school. After years of this, I couldn't do it anymore so I gave up. I took a job in a call center. I was making decent money, had a secure job with good benefits. But I hated what I was doing. I'm a pretty active person and I knew that sitting for 8 + hours a day was something that was going to be hard on me. And hard on my body which I would find out later. I was tired, grumpy, and not a fun person to be around. Somehow I did this for 5 years. I'm not sure how I lasted that long. Then, suddenly I thought that maybe I should try the teaching thing again. At least I would be doing something meaningful instead of listening to people complain and yell at me all day long. So I considered renewing my teaching license. But first, I should try to get back into the education field! I had an 18 month old at the time so I started applying for jobs at daycares in hopes I would get a job at one and my son would be able to come to work with me. Not long after I applied, I interviewed at a place I used to work for but a different location. I had worked for 6 years teaching Pre-K before so it would be easy to jump right back in. The company knew me, they liked me, and I had a lot of experience. It would be perfect! Or so I thought! I knew almost immediately that this was a huge mistake. I felt like an outsider from the get go. At 36 I was the oldest person that worked there. I was working with girls who were in their early 20's. I couldn't relate to them and they couldn't relate to me. I have always been a responsible person and employee. I have never gotten written up or in trouble in any way. Just a few weeks in, I was called in to the office for the first of many times. Was I seriously in trouble for parking too close? She had a whole list of things for me that I was doing wrong. Minor things, but still, I was shocked. A few weeks later, I was written up for reporting inappropriate behavior in my classroom. Still scratching my head about that one! After a few months, I still wasn't fitting in and was still getting in trouble over stupid little things. Cody was doing great in the Toddler room. He was starting to talk more, had a good routine, and was playing well with other kids. The bad part though was that he was sick nonstop. I wrote up a resignation letter in August but never turned it in. I thought I should give it another go. The unhappiness continued though. I had an awful class. I had never worked with children who were so disrespectful. I had no support from management. Some of the other teachers felt bad for me and were very nice and sympathetic. Especially Cody's teacher. But the stress got to be so bad I just couldn't do it any longer. I wasn't sleeping because I was thinking about what I had to do the next day or how I could avoid getting in trouble again. I was really mean and tired and I was fed up. Then came the final straw. I got called in to the office where I was told I was a "cold" person. I was told the children acting up was my fault. Basically I was an awful teacher and a bad person. I was in utter shock and disbelief. I had never in my life been treated so poorly by an employer. By anyone! I don't think I was ever praised or complimented on a single thing while I was there. A few days later, I told my boss I was thinking of quitting. I agreed to take the weekend to think about it...although I knew what I had to do. I know my husband was tired of it as well. So I told them I was quitting. So I did. And it was everything I hoped it would be. Awesome! I took a part time job in retail. It was a mindless job but I needed something non-stressful. Never in a million years thought I'd work in retail at the age of 36 but here I was! It was a seasonal job, but after the holidays, they asked me to stay on. So, I am here still until I figure something else out. I honestly have no clue what I want to do anymore. I'm happier now than I have been in a long time thought because that stress is gone and I get to spend more time with Cody. But I know I need to do something else and I am worth more than this. I need to find something I'm passionate about and something I really care about. Teaching must not be in the cards for me. I just need to find out what is!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
great. liked everything very much. keep it up and dont stop.
escape games
Game Guardian
Post a Comment