Lacey

Last night around 1:30 am, I heard something in my room. I looked and saw that it was Lacey! I was shocked that she even went up my stairs (my bedroom is in the attic, so she usually doesn't go up there!) But there she was, tail wagging, trying to jump up on my bed! I picked her up and put her at the bottom of my bed. She had a good day yesterday and another good one today. Maybe it was because my room is air conditioned, or maybe it's because she just knows I want her to be around me as much as possible. I love that little mutt!!!

What a weekend...

Last week, my mom had told me that Lacey had another eye infection. She had one last year, so we assumed that this was the same type of thing. So, I started puting cream in her eyes. However, she wanted no part of that and tried to bite me each time I put it in. Well, a few days later, I saw that it wasn't getting any better and that her other eye also looked really bizarre...like she was looking up and couldn't focus. I called my dad right away and he agreed that we had to get her into the vet ASAP. I stay in Twinsburg on weekends, so my dad gave me a call on Saturday morning to tell me what the vet had said. Somehow, I knew that it was not going to be good news, so I didn't answer the phone. In fact, it took me over an hour to get up the courage to call him back. Well, it was bad news. It turns out that Lacey has cataracts and glaucoma in both eyes. The reason she was biting me was because she is in so much pain. They said that her eyes could be removed...but what kind of life is that for a dog to have no eyes? Her hearing is shot as well. She is also very old and probably would not survive the surgery. In addition, she has a weak heart and arthritis. So, basically, she is going to have to be put down when her eyes get so bad and she is in too much pain. I'm hoping that it won't be for a while, but it has already progressed so far in such a short period of time that I'm afraid it will be soon.

It's so sad because she is part of our family! She's been around for half of my life and almost all of Katy's. She isn't just an animal....she's part of the Robinson Clan. I took the news pretty hard, but luckily Brian was there to comfort me...I actually think this was the first time he'd ever really seen me cry. I usually try to play tough around people even though I'm really not. This though, was too much.

In addition, my grandmother is not doing well. She was just moved to Hospice yesterday and they think that she may be close to the end. Because of her Alzheimer's, she has not known who I am in....like 10 years or so? So, it's weird because she's been with us this whole time, but at the same time, hasn't. The last time I saw her was last year when I went to visit her with my mom. She is my grandma, but I am a stranger to her. I don't feel that I ever really got a chance to know her, being part of such a huge family. I remember going shopping with her and my mom and sister occassionally when I was younger. I remember getting tons of gifts from her and my grandpa for Christmas. But, unfortunately, when you are part of such a big family, you sometimes miss out on close relationships that other people from smaller families may have. They expect her to go soon...maybe I'll get to see her before she does.

Vegeterranean

On August 7th, we went to the new Chrissy Hines restaurant "Vegeterranean" (I could totally be spelling it wrong!)for Jenny's bday! If you like vegeterian, or even if you don't, you should really check this place out. The menu is really different, but everything we had was awesome!! I had fake spaghetti and meatballs and a blackberry mojito!!! Yum!! :)

This is for you Amy Paulus!

I Am Me!

I am just me.
Why should I comform?
I am unique and have enjoyed that about myself for several years now.
Doesn't that make me interesting?

I'm not into frills and lace.
I don't care about "who" I'm wearing.
I don't have to have the newest, trendiest clothes right now!
I am me!

I am laid back most times.
But if you do me wrong, look out!
I can be quiet
I can be obnoxious.
I can stress about stupid things.
Too much, in fact.
But I am me!

I am moody.
I'm a perfectionist.
I'm sensitive.
But much more than most people realize.

I am overly competitive.
I want to be the best.
My mind is always racing.
Which is why I can never relax!

I love to have fun and wish I could do it more.
I'm often tired, often anxious.
I care too much about everything,
Including things I shouldn't.

I overanalyze!!
I'm sometimes defiant!
I know I have many oddities,
But, I'm glad I'm me!


**I was recently reminded that I should not change who I am to be like those around me. Sometimes we forget how important it is to just be yourself and not worry about what everyone else thinks of you. Those that really care about you will love you for you.

What does the future hold for me?

When I graduated from Hiram College in 2001, I thought that I had life all figured out and that I would get a good teaching job and move out on my own. Well, it's 2008 and so far, none of those things has happened. I guess I wasn't really prepared for "the real world" like I thought I was. At Hiram it as almost like I was in little bubble that was protecting me from what life would bring me. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved Hiram and all the people there, but it just makes me wonder how much college really prepares you for what lies ahead.

Let me begin with the job stuff. Ever since I was young, I wanted to be a teacher. It has always been my ultimate dream and I never would have imagined in a million years that it was something I would never be able to accomplish. No one told me it would be next to impossible to get a job in this area seven years ago. So after I graduated I subbed (which I hated!!) for a few years. I then landed a part-time job at Sylvan Learning Center and then as a tutor in one of the elementary schools. I thought for sure I'd have an in and get into the Falls schools. After all, I did have a relative working there. During the last month of school, the superintendent came to visit and handed me a letter stating that they would not be renewing my contract and I would not be getting a teaching job the next year. All the teachers were outraged. I gave this district three years of my life and they still would not hire me? If working in the district and having connections doesn't get you in, what does?

After that, I decided I did not want to go back to subbing, so I decided I would start applying at day-care centers since they always seemed to be hiring and it was sort of in my field. The day after I applied, I got phone calls from two places...one at Kindercare in Macedonia and one at Childtime in the falls. There was a difference in pay, but since I lived only 5 minutes away from Childtime, I decided to go there. (and with gas prices the way they are now, I'm glad I did!!) After about six months of working there, I got offered a full-time position at Sylvan Learning Center so I quit Childtime. When that position turned out to be a bust, I went back to Childtime and have been there ever since. During this time, I let my teaching license expire. After some thought, I decided that I wanted to renew it just in case I still wanted to apply for teaching jobs. So, I spent almost $6000 (that I put on my credit card) to renew my license. Well guess what? I still couldn't get a teaching job. Last January I started working part-time at Sylvan Learning Center in Stow. So now I have two jobs, but do I want to have to work two (maybe three) jobs for the rest of my life?

I suppose I should feel lucky that I even have one job in this economy. I have health insurance, 401k, vacation, sick time, etc..so I can't complain about that! However, I'm 29 years old and still live with my mom! I am educated and responsible, but am not making the money that I need to. I love working with kids of course, but maybe it's time I go in a new direction with my life.

Yesterday I completed my application for Kent State. I applied to the Nutrition and Dietitics program. It is something I've been interested in for a long time and I think I could be really good at it. They pay is also really good! I just feel like life is passing me by and I am going nowhere. It is time for a change!

Lots of people ask me, well why don't you just move in with Brian or get married? Well, we hope to get married in a few years, but he is currently still trying to sell his house. It is a very messy situation because his ex is still paying her half of the mortgage each month and legally I cannot move in there without her taking him to court. He has been nearly sued I think three times due to this house situation and the last thing I want to do is cause more trouble for him. So basically he is stuck in a house he can't afford and does not want to live in and I am stuck living at home. The housing market is awful and unfortunately he is in a very bad situation and there is nothing he can do about it. All we can do is sit and wait for someone to make an offer!

I just wonder, where will we be in a few years from now....will we be happily married with good jobs and maybe kids? Or will we still be where we are at right now? I really hope that our luck turns around. I think we deserve it!

Fun at Geneva

Last weekend we went to Geneva-on-the-Lake! There was so much to do, we couldn't fit it all in! After we got there on Friday night, we sat around the campsite and ate dinner. Luckily our campsite was really close to the bathroom/showerhouse (which was really nice)! It started storming a bit so we walked up to the entrance where there was bar/restaurant called "A Step Up." We ended up hanging out there the rest of the evening. It was basically an attic that reminded us all of my bedroom! (hence why it was called "A Step Up") We played darts, bowled, and danced. Saturday after we got up and ate, we went to the pool for a few hours. It was cool cause there was a family pool and an adult pool. So we of course went to the adult pool, brought snacks, beverages, and rafts. After that we went to the "Firehouse Winery" where we got Cherry Smash Ups and Lunch. (taco salads!!) We also did some shopping! We then decided we wanted to go to more wineries! After that, we got dinner at "Eddies" )they have the best food and it's a 50's style restaurant!) and then went to the arcades where Brian won me a stuffed animal! We were so tired so instead of going barhopping like we planned, we went back to the campsite and watched SNL in John and Jean's camper. Sunday we got up, ate, played putt-putt, ate lunch and did more shopping. The last thing we did was go to the pool again. Of course I got a little burnt, but we had a ton of fun! Next time we go, I'd like to stay longer so we can do more stuff! Here are some pics from the weekend!